...That Question...

Recently i was faced with a question;

What do you care about?
i didnt answer very well at the time... but i thought about it more.. and my answer is....



i hav no idea... i did have alot writen for this, but... i read over it, and it got smaller and smaller... and this is wat its become... um..

i've been thinking a little more, i think i'll sit here until i really cant keep my eyes open anymore, just waffling bout things i care about...

Happiness...my only true care, is being happy... no matter where i am, i just dont want to be unhappy.
Love....I was thinking love... but, im not so sure... of course, now i am in love...i should care, i care about him... but... i thnk i could live without love, therefore i dont care about love... aslong as i hav my friends...so...
Friends... i need a social life, without it, i thnk i'd feel pathetic and alone. friends make me happy so friends are a care of mine.
Fun... no matter what i want to have fun. i will hopefully be moving out soon, it may suck the fun out of somethings, but.. i will hav a substitute. i will have fun. i will be happy.
Education... umm..not so much, i think i've learnt most of the basics... theres some more to be learnt, but now education isnt compulsory, therefore people can get by on what i already know. the rest is a want. i want to be more knowledgable...
Success... i guess, aslong as i have a job that i like and is good pay at the end of it all thats all i could ask for

but.. to be honest.. it all just leads back to happy. so to sum up. i have one care.

HAPPINESS!

i've been pretty vague, as i dont want to go into too much detail, so i dont depess u guys, or myself further. i've had enuff of that crappy feeling for one evening, i think now i'll just sleep it off.

I'll leave u with a message that...
All Is Good.

The Bev
xxxxxxx

Random-ness

booo!

decided 2 blog.. mainly cos i got a wireless keyboard an im sitting in my usual bloggage way, but wirelessly ^^ anyway... after a morning of sleep, and an afternoon of teevee and chattage, i hav come 2 the conclusion i wasted pretty much a whole day, it has peaked after some magic people appeared on the great MSN, but still, wudda prefered to hav done .. something.. and i've actually considered revision ^^ but we'll c...

anyway... the exams so far, havnt been as bad as expected, which is always a gd thing... but i cant help but think that i'll struggle with geog (mainly cos of my asylum of a class...) and maths just because of the rushing of the last few topics, but yeh. we'll c... if i revise i revise, if not.. then oh well... just hope im lucky.. which at the mo, has peaked a lil i guess.. depending on wat way u look at it... i survived a kitchen fire =P... wasnt much of one, but with no smoke alarms i guess im lucky (or not) to still b here... *idea sparks for new post*

hmm.. well... i rearranged my room on... umm monday =) cos i dislike things staying the same 4 too long... so yehh... even tho im ment 2 b moving out in the summer.... still thought its worth the final change of my room =P end of an era ... umm... phwoar blogging interesting stuff is pretty difficult.... cud just blog bout wat i've done, which usually ends up makin me feel like i've wasted poor your time but oh well... u wudnt come bk if u didnt want 2 waste time... by now u shud have realised i blog crap ^^ but the nxt post will b good.... i think... =P

ok so... lately... umm.. tom rebroke my knee =P cos i fancied a game of rugby ^^ twas gd excpt the crippling bit... but oh well. tis ok now... bruise is turning into a normal bruisey colour not the odd yellow thing it was b4.. now its PURPLE! XD *checks again* no wait... its still a lil yellow =( oh well...

umm.. went 2 skool on tuesday and wat a fookin waste of time. i cant stand it ¬¬ stoopid stoopid maths, but i did leave at 1 ^^ and had quite the talk with the legend that is mr.richard steer. he really is a legend. not only was he my 1st form tutor all the way bk in year 7, but he has been supportive of loooads, even wen i played girly footyball ^^ all the way up 2 now, where i've turned into quite the young lady, being prom queen and whatnot. *polishes plastic crown*
we talked of much... 1 hr 20 mins, and a good talk... talked bout... exams, life.. relationships... um... music....my moving out... um... work,more exams.. more music... was quite the talk... and yes, hes a teacher! =P hes a human teacher =P one of the good ones, he even told me of a pub in neath that plays GOOD music and he reccomended i go when i am "of age". we shared music loves... i also suggested that he'd b mine an sams manager wen we make our band, cos he missed the buzz frm the stage an stuff..
an steer, i've downloaded lots of the music u recommended... just gotta listen =P *searches smashing pumpkins* ok, so... hmm.. so far not 2 bad, calmin ^^ *drifts away*

*drifts bk* must keep blogging... no... thats it... no more bloggage... cant b arsed... to calm inside... the blogging isnt flowing as well as it was... although.. maybe it is.. hold on... its almost flowing, no... not the good stuff... this is the deep stuff appearing, feelings =O what are those =P... they're here ^^

phwoar, steer u legend, i am calm b4 work, im... content... and time for the blog i promised b4, its one i needed 2 b calm-ish for... thoughts needed 2 flow, and goddamn it they r. so dont go anywhere.. ^^

The Bev
xxxxxxx

KEEP READING!

You Think You've Got Problems?!?!

JESUS CHRIST

Just need 2 rant a lil...

I CANT STAND PEOPLE WHO THINK THEIR LIVES R SO FUCKED UP!
not that im saying my life is worse, because obviously i dont know the whole story, but frm what i hear, JESUS. U HAVE ISSUES IF YOU THINK LIFE, at the moment, MEANS ANYTHING! ...

but seriously, how can u sit there complaining like that. im pretty sure LOADS of people in the world have gone through MUCH worse, and im sure u'll get over it.
stoopid thing is, the main topic of peoples sudden depression: Exams.
and it really is stupid! as sam says, all u need is a C and how easy is that?...

STOP PANICKING AND LIVE!
For Christs Sake!

CHEER THE FUCK UP!

much love!
xxxxxxxxxxxx

<3xXx My Lew xXx<3

well... i can go on for aaages.. and aslong as its longer than riches post then i dont think lew will mind. well... umm i will lose my eyes and just let go ^^

listening 2 our song baybee ^^
i can listen over and over... and think of you for even longer than that!
its early morning, and i wont sleep until i blog this... well, umm... i love you. i never EVER thought i'd feel like this.. .not at 16 anyway. but... i do =(
i shudnt, i shud b concentrating on other things, but i am concentrating on you.
so many songs i can listen 2, an just drift away an think of you. all nite tonight, i was just waiting to go home and to talk 2 u, when i realised how sweet i can b, all i wanted to do was to come home an hav cwtches... or... talk about them atleast... an here i am.. i want huggles, cuggles, cwtches, kisses. i love u so much and i neeeed you.

never let me go, and i'll never let you go.
we are stuck together =P not that im complaining =P

i'll go thru little parts of our histoire as i hav done...
we met... in crosshands, cinema-ing.. didnt really talk to yoo. gutted, wat a waste =P
we met...again... in pizza hut ^^ for mr.daniel figz birthyday the day b4 i started yr 11 an u started college... i dont remember talkin 2 u much then either.. again, a lil waste
a few random meetings in bont later, and we began talking more and more... and u did do a little stalkin 4 my msn address =P... then
13th october 2006, bulbs 18th, what a night! i dont know how it happened, but i was glad it did.. that night... i wont forget...
lots of stuff happened between then and now, and not all good, all that matters 2 me now, is my lew... who i love more than anything, i did regret leahs bday... DID... but, now, i think it may hav been the best thing ever.. i cant imagine my life without u, u r the biggest part of my life, u r my glue, u r keeping me together.

I Love You.

Theres nothing yoo can do =P hehe

(this post is muchos better than richys dont yoo think?...)

i am so madly MADLY in love with you, i will never hurt you. i will look after you, and i KNOW u'll do the same ^^
we r perfect together ^^

You really are my world, i CANNOT live without you.
I'd be lost without you.

*sings* There's something i cant quite explain, Im soo in love with you. you'll never take that away... and if i said it a hundred times before... expect a THOUSAND more! u'll never take that away..

i want cuggles, i want to lay on you, and listen to your heart beat and listen 2 it speed up when i say i love you.

*sings* i feel like i can fly when i stand next to you

i want to sleep on you, i know u will bring me sweet dreams ^^

(look! i can b sweet! *looks coote*)

*looks at time.*. 3.07...its saturday...i will c u 2moro. WILL. i must =( even if its just a little while, i will see you. i'll huggle yoo and tell u i love u an disappear if i thats all the time i have.
aslong as u gets a huggle ^^ i guess i shud sleep. so i wake, b4 u wrk. i'll try and be on msn b4 u disappear to wrk.. or wen u get bk...

Love You Always Shweeeeeeetie!!!!!! ^^
<3xXxXxXxXxXxXx<3

you are my world

quick post ^^

...cos i realised... i think in every one of my posts i've sed how crap my blog is...and how im continuing to blog anyway ^^

teehee... i've kept my word!

xxxxxxxx

Been A While...

Woah, realised its been quite a while... im sittin in my usual blogging way.. just because then i know i'll keep writing cos im comfy=P so here we go...



since i last blogged... well.. we had prom..and an after party (which fucked up my head an i WISH i remembered a lil more about it, just 2 clear a few things up...) we finished the yrbook... umm... well i think thats bout it... starbucks, but thats just usual events =P an we finished skool. there is... no more ('cept 4 exams)



so... start with prom... it was amazing! i think even tom had a better time than he thought =P lol, that maybe just cos he talked to sum turk-ish teachers about rugby for... quite a while =P... anywhoo... i was prom queen ^^ was amazed...every1 else, wasnt so amazed. lol graham was my king ^^ legend! XD anyway... prom, was good... reeeealy good... one of the best nites ever, soon it was over and time for the after party... well... i got there, and just... headed to the alcohol... it was great... i think... i remember... small bits... but slowly more and more...

anyway... i sed stoopid things, which i hardly remember, and i had 2 clear it up the nxt day. it's left me in a stoopid state of mind. i wont go into it. but yeh... not the best at the mo... but still... better than usual. thinkin about this is starting to get 2 me, so.. next topic...


skool. its gone... now the people who mean alot 2 me... will have 2 start makin efforts =P... i cant wait... people who i want to c... will b seen! people who annoy the hell outta me, will b avoided. and i cant wait! will miss the "skool way of life" it was easy, got used 2 it =P was comfy... =P anyway. those of u who i've grown fond of, will not escape me, and for that i apologise =P but it cant b helped!



i'll c u guys in college ^^



love u always =)



(that wasnt the end =)... just a message 2 those trying 2 escape *evil laughs*)




anywhoo, sum events frm the near future... i hav... work =).. dnt think i sed i'm wrking now! which means!! IM ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE ESCAPE OF THIS EVIL HOUSE! i cant wait ^^ i'll be free... ish ^^ =) and i will hav people who love me around ^^ yay!



anywhoo i wrk ^^ and im wrkin later, then im being made 2 go.. dun dun duuuuuuuuun to like.. a party .. thing... for boss steph's bday. 60's style *shudders* im gonna look... awesome? =P lol.. we shall c... hmm i think im running out of things 2 say...



but i'll keep waffling anyway... i think... umm...no, i think i'll leave this now. b4 u all want to die, i would like very much for u to keep coming bk 2 read. ^^ no matter how boring u find this =)


anywhoo there'll b more posting soon!


oooo wait! SOME WAFFLE!

(WOAH ALMOST LOST THIS WHOLE POST! thank yoo blogger for saving the drafts automatically *breaks down in happy tears* )

anywhoo bk 2 waffle... exams!... hav my 1st 2 on tuesday (22nd), english lit and i.t.. i think i'll post after thems ^^ an keep u up to date with everyday crap, as always!

k... i think thats all... so.. umm...

BYE!

The Bev
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Richy!!

=) Well hi! Getting a lil sleepy, but thought i would do the post i promised =)

MR RICHY!
The legend himself.


although the paper says otherwize...














....mines a tad more accurate!














anywhoo... Meet Richy. He be awesome. One of my bestest buds =) always there pour moi, always happy 2 listen 2 my crap. and actually one of my few blogger fans =P (thats also me by the by... yer... not good eh? =P)

Bk to Richy... it all began a while ago with a small forum. called Magpie =) hell yea! Pink Sox! XD that game... true genius. anywhoo chit chat began(mainly with my sister, but also lil chats avec moi) and aqaintance was made. occasional chats was what we did best!

talking declined =( and life moveded on....
but then!
Hide and Seek! XD... *hides*
and our aqaintance became a friendship ^^ and wat an awesome one tis.

now. we talk.. alot =P... although exams will be trying 2 hold us back. they will not prevail. we are too awesome. talking... deep talks, one of the few people i feel who can help.. *smiles* and i try to help in return..
Richy be a biiiig part of my life now =)
MSN is no fun without yoooo and summer will indeed rawk. *grabs bucket and spade*

anywhooo thats how this amazing-ness occured.
and it will keep going goddamn it! *nods*

Chit Chat Mr Richy. Yoo Legend!=)

The Bev
xxxxxxx